По поводу знакомой и мужа-дебила — моя дочка отписалась (она психолог по образованию). Переводить не буду, т.к. нет времени.
So, I would first suggest listening to this ted talk as a primer.
Leslie Morgan Steiner was in “crazy love” — that is, madly in love with a man who routinely abused her and threatened her life. Steiner tells the dark story of her relationship, correcting misconceptions many people hold about victims of domestic violence, and explaining how we can all help break the silence. (Filmed at TEDxRainier.)
It's pretty good. Though not all encompassing. it can give some insights.
Speaking VERY generally, it's also to remember that abusers are largely predatory. They work by undermining your confidence and making you doubt yourself, while at the same time isolating you from family and friends, financial resources, transportation, and even communication. They want to make themselves the most appealing option even if they're obviously terrible people by leveraging the fear of the unknown against you (if not the fear of stalking.)
When dealing with victims of abuse, be supportive, be patient, be a contrast. These people are often under high stress and their abusers are usually actively trying to turn them against to, To maintain communication, be a bastion of support and stability. You're trying to clear a way for them to be able to get out and even sending down a little rope; you're not trying to kidnap them because that will likely harm your relationship and make them see you as another forceful person that overrides their desires, and they are likely to resist.
Here are links to some abuse checklists:
Domestic Violence and Abuse: Signs of Abuse and Abusive Relationships
Abuse in a relationship comes in many different forms, but it's mainly when someone tries to control, intimidate or hurt their partner. It can happen in lots of different ways and can be caused by males or females.
<--much more thorough
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SIGNS THAT YOU'RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
Are you examining your relationship and wondering if what you are going through is abuse? Below is a quick checklist of some of the abusive behaviours that you may be enduring.
There's a few clear themes there.
These are some sections from a blog that I respect. The authors often use pop culture and non-scientific language in order to make the content easily accessible for the layman. There is some projection and clear bias, but I feel their insights are valuable regardless. There are various degrees of abuse presented here, but you will find some good advice and general patters and examples on how to help friends who are being abused that you can model your own script after. It is also highly advisable to find a professional, if you can consult them, because cultural differences could very well impact how this advice is interpreted.
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